Sex on My Desk - a Blog by the Love & Sex Editor at iVillage

It's not you.  It's me. 

You're great... really.  But it's time for me to move on.

Want to read more on iVillage.com?  Check out these links:

• Singles and dating
• Marriage
• Understanding men

Wait, why the tears?  We don't have to break up!  Just go to JoseyMiller.com to keep our relationship as strong as ever.  I hope to see you there...

With love*,
Josey

*Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love

Love is all you need.

--The Beatles

What would you do during the stressful wedding-planning process if not for your devoted bridesmaids? Well, bridesmaids' gifts are one way to thank them! Start with the clever, but practical Bridesmaid's Survival Kit from MyWeddingFavors.com. It's under $20 so it barely qualifies for your wedding budget spreadsheet. And your girls will appreciate having everything from double-sided tape to dancing socks in one compact package.

Want to mark your territory (and I mean that in a cute way, not a crazy way)? Get on his pants with these personalized white boxer shorts. You'll love them because you'll know he'll be thinking about you morning and night... and several times in between--not to mention that they're under $25. He'll love them because they're practical and endearing, but not over-the-top romantic. Maybe the way to a man's heart isn't through his stomach after all.



*I made you say underwear!

Care to be a little more specific? Enter the Couples Genealogy Tree from Red Envelope. Not only does it make for attractive, customized décor for your home, it's a wonderful, conversation-starting tool for teaching your children about their ancestry.



Now that's what we call family style!

Rule number one for meeting your new boyfriend's parents: Never show up empty-handed. While wine may seem like a safe bet, what if they don't drink? That's why we love these Glass Illusion Ice Cream Bowls from Uncommon Goods: Everyone loves ice cream! They're a bit pricey at $40, but think of it this way: These could be your in-laws someday. (When it comes to first impressions, everything you've heard is true.)

For their new study, the Singen-based Institute of Condom Consultancy asked 10,500 men in 25 countries to measure their penis and enter the number into a database. But my favorite part of the Reuters article on Yahoo! News is where it says:

"The results show Frenchmen on average claim to need 15.48-cm (6.09-inch) long condoms, about 3 cm longer than Greeks, whose condom-size requirement was the most modest. He did not want to comment on how honest he thought the Frenchmen had been in reporting the data."

What's the most popular free activity among British people? Window shopping maybe?  Gossiping? Nope, according to a new YouGov study of 2,000 people, it's S-E-X:

"The Scots were most amorous with 43 percent choosing sex over other pastimes, compared with 35% in South England. Around one in 10 respondents to the survey said their favourite free activity was window shopping and six percent chose going to a museum as the cheapest way to pass the time. But the sexes differed on their priorities, with women preferring to gossip while men had sex firmly at the top of their list."

(The BBC News also noted that AIDS charity the Terrence Higgins Trust, which published the survey, were happy to report that recent figures showed an increase in condom sales, as well.)

Fine, so sex won't actually save you money. You won't get a coupon in the mail or anything. There's no sex rebate. But my friend Lindsey says that whenever she and her boyfriend leave their apartment, it always seems to cost them an automatic $100 in food, beer and/or impulse purchases. So, if you consider that sex is a way to pass the time without leaving home and entering the world of consumer temptation... Oh, you get the idea!

(Now if that isn't an "I had to wonder..." headline!)

I just received a press release from Divorce360.com about cheating:

"A new study suggests between 40 to 70 percent of partners cheat on their spouses, making infidelity the new norm in a relationship. 'It's very high,' according to University of Montreal researcher Genevieve Beaulieu-Pelletier. [But] the results don't surprise Divorce360.com expert Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., a psychotherapist: 'Contrary to what we'd like to believe, I think there's always been more infidelity than faithfulness,' Tessina said. 'America has a huge prostitution industry, for one thing, that few people ever talk about. Who's keeping it going? Add to that the one-night stands when people are on business trips, affairs at the office, and all the other sexual encounters married people can have. It is not a new phenomenon. It has been going on for all of history.'"

Does Tessina speak the truth?  Here's your chance to come clean:

Remember when I first mentioned Betty Beauty? Well, they've come a long way, baby; in fact, their site displays this new poem:

"'Tis the season to give a betty kit!
The holiday season makes everyone happy, you must admit!

Holiday betty comes in colors of two!
Buy love betty (red) for a friend
and a lucky betty (green) for you!
These yuletide colors
come with holiday charmcils (stencil shapes) - free!
Forget misletoe....
Shape your betty with a star,
an angel or a christmas tree!

A perfect stocking stuffer,
secret santa or office party present!
Give the gift of betty and
you won't have overspent!"

Was it good for you—and would you please be specific? (Be careful what you wish for!) With the Sex Report Card magnet from Knock Knock, you can give your lover (or he can give you) grades in categories ranging from “Foreplay Commitment” to “Follow-Up Cuddling”—not to mention marks for “Hygiene” and “Citizenship.”



Tracey Cox says bedroom feedback is essential, but remember, ladies: The male ego is fragile.