Just Call Me Gifted
A little background… I have a stack of relationship books on my desk about yea high. (Can you see me motioning above my head? It’s like describing a spiral staircase.)
Publishers love to send me books, and I love that they send them to me. Sometimes I love the books because there's a section that will make for a compelling excerpt. Sometimes I love them because they spark a unique story idea. Sometimes I love them because why on earth would someone write about this?
Some more background:
I am recently engaged and the complete anti-bride.
So the fact that someone wrote an entire book -- 260 pages! -- on registering for your wedding is utterly beyond me. And this is not just any wedding registry book; it’s THE ULTIMATE Wedding Registry Book (Workbook to be exact).
My iVillage co-workers and I have spent way too much time laughing on instant messenger (also known as L O L-ing, or more grammatically correct: L-ing O L) about the many reasons registries are ridiculous. As Homepage Producer Amy eloquently put it, “Thank you so much for buying me exactly what I picked out and I know it’s $59.99 because I just checked my registry and it’s on sale.”
But there is -- without question -- an upside.
You see, I am a hypocrite because I, the anti-registry anti-bride… registered!
Why? Well… It turns out that when you don’t register -- and this is going to sound entirely ungrateful, but I’m saying it anyway -- you often get really strange gifts.
I received one -- which is by the way returnable within 30 days only, for store credit only, at a store halfway across the country -- that I honestly couldn’t even identify. When I showed my friend Karol, she tilted her head in bewilderment and asked, “Maybe you put M&Ms in it?”
It’s the thought that counts, though.
Personally, when I’m buying off other couples’ registries, I like to choose the item that will generate the most frame-able thank you note. Ex: “Dear Josey, Thank you for the egg cooker.”
What is an egg cooker? Why do people register for such things? Do people really need a special device specifically for cooking eggs? Does it work that much better than, I don’t know, a frying pan?
So maybe this book is helpful after all. It has a glossary in the back and everything. Maybe the glossary explains the rationale behind egg cookers.
Maybe people should register for THE ULTIMATE Wedding Registry Workbook after all.
LMAO!! Hello anti-bride from another anti-bride. This is my second wedding, and the emphasis is on fun. I've told family and friends that I'm NOT registered anywhere because we have enough. We have even been giving AWAY stuff. All I want is just lots of laughter, giggles and great memories for all. I don't need an egg cooker -- it would just go into the appliance graveyard with the sandwich makers, extra toasters, George Foreman grill and other unused gadgets.
Have fun convincing everyone of what you don't need or want. After all, we are modern women -- we just need a hammer, screwdriver, duct tape, WD-40 and a black bra...maybe not in that order.
My cousin registered for a mango slicer, no lie. I thought one sliced mangos with a knife, but apparently that's not the case.
HAHA. I totally agree that registering is a weird thing. I actually was getting scolded by my aunts about not having enough on my registry! "Where are your linens?" they would ask. WTF!?! Where am I going to store tablecloths and napkin holders when I have no table! I did register for a lovely breakmaker, though, which has been sitting for 2 years in a box in my mother's babement :) love ya!
Mango slicer?? Who would use that (other than Bobby Flay)?
Registries are fun only for guests who aren't procrastinators. Which, admittedly, is not me...
Though on second thought, what's not fun about giving 4 forks, a banana hanging basket, napkin rings... having them all wrapped together in who knows what ... and then trying desperately to find a way to spend $30 more bucks?!
My personal favorite: a bunt pan shaped like a castle.
I like registries because my friends and I just graduated from college. This way you can pick something in the price range and you know they want it.
Weirdest item on a registry: Thank You cards.
I wasn't going to buy the Thank You cards to get one sent back to me.
Just to further your shock and amazement--there is now registering at Toys R Us for children's birthday parties.
And at the top of the tacky factor, I recently received a wedding invitation from a cousin who included in the invitation that the couple had not registered because "they prefer gift cards from either Target or Wal-Mart thank you"
Um, how do you feel about a simple "congratulations!" card 'cause that's all you're getting from me!
Ang, wow... And Heather, I am writing a thank you note for thank you notes right now! (I didn't register for them, though.)
I had a friend tell me, when I asked about her registry, "OH - that's not DONE here" - here being DC...
UM, these are not YOUNG couples - they have stuff, plenty of stuff. Frankly, I'd have loved if they'd picked a charity - but that might be petty...
At a certain point, it's more a service for the guests than a wishlist for the bride... ;)
registries- who needs them- it is fun to give and receive the unique gifts people come up with. The best one we got was a sensual bath kit from our Sunday School Teacher :)
I love the registries! Then I don't have to stress about what to get. I recently got engaged (at 43) and yes I did register, only because I've been a single mom since I was 25 and don't have a lot of stuff. I wouldn't mind a complete set of dishes. I don't want fru fru stuff. That's the only thing I registered for. I have knives and I can cook an egg in a pan. Tools are the only thing I've spent money on over the years - I can fix anything!!!! Hey Tinkerbell - that's my nickname!! I'm marrying a man with the last name Bell. Good luck to all future brides.
I'm a newly wed- 1 1/2 mths to be exact- and we did not register. We just told reliable people what we wanted, and told the rest give us money!!! We tried the registry thing when we had our son a couple years ago, and about 60% of the people at the baby shower did not shop from our registry.
I was the anti-registering anti-bride myself. We didnt ask for anything and only one person sent an actual gift...which was some wonderful things that we loved! the other people gave us money because family members let it be known that we only wanted a house.
I think it's a mixed bag...we just got married and the registry seems to have helped our family and friends narrow the spectrum of possibilities (you could argue whether it helped THEM or US). That said, the gift we didn't register for, the "his and hers" JetBoil camping cookers with the mini espresso attachment, was the coolest gift of all (Thanks Jeff!)
The registry for the shower that I am invited to states that the bride wants an IPOD and a case of pantyhose.
Maybe is an Asian things. When I got married 15 years ago. My church friends went to the store that I registried and check out the registry list than went to other bargain stores to buy their gifts. I ended up having 16 toasters, 17 coffee makers, dinner sets with bright orange color and truckload of stuff I don't even know where on earth they got it from. So I guess it won't matter whither or not I registry at all.......
I thought regisitries were a bit silly too.. so as i was laughing while registering.. i thought i would make everyone laugh when reading my registry.. so i put EVERYTHING on my registry... deoderant, toothpaste, dishsoap... TAMPONS!!! hahaha it was HILARIOUS!!
I need the registry when I shop. But personally, I hadn't planned on registering. We've both lived on our own and had our own things, but my family convinced me that we needed all new plates and such so we registered for their sake - nothing too pricey. My family strictly stuck to the register or gave cash. My husband's family was another story. Not one gift from them came from the register, which was perfectly fine with me. The result, lots and lots of dish towels, a set of nesting bowls w/lids that were missing a bowl, the lid was there, but no bowl that size (we later saw the aunt at a picnic with a bowl that matched it) too funny. A few gifts that were obviously regifted items, old wrapping, no receipt. A paring knife enclosed in a white security envelope that read "a $5.99 value". Again, I wasn't complaining. I opened it, smiled and said, thank you, we need knives. My husband only wishes I had said "we need KNIFE". My poor mother-in-law was mortified. Moral: Brides, appear grateful &gracious at all time
"KT"--
The castle bundt pan you referenced here was on Daily Candy today:
http://www.nordicware.com/b2c/product_details.cfm?prodid=408&prod_master_cat=4&prod_cat=18
Coincidence?
I don't think so... :)
Okay my girlfriend is finally pregnant with her first child, which is great. BUT she decided to register (despite others advice) online. The really bad thing is she selected things just because the sites recommended the baby items. When she told me to check it out. I found hundreds upon hundreds of unnecessary items (especially safety products) that she won't use half of and now everyone is buying her all this stuff and she is going to need everything else. I tried to tell her nicely since I am a mommy although it's hard. I won't be buying from her lists.
two years ago i had a bridal shower i registered for, and since we had to live with inlaws, i asked my sister in law to help me out. but, she registered for stuff she wanted for herself. i did not care, and i was happy that she got them all. it was a lot of stuff, too. i got stupid stuff, not registered for, but also we got a lot of money.
when i buy gifts, i buy what i think is useful on the registry, if i do not find a good gift, i buy gift card or give cash
My mother insisted I register when I got engaged. She even insisted I register at a certain store! Most people did well, if you are going to receive weird gifts, those people are going to give weird gifts wether you register or not. It's all in fun! One person bought something for us at the store I registered at but that was not on our registry. The store called me to come and pick it up, I arrived at the store, opened it right there and exchanged it right there! lol! I have to admit, that was pretty tacky of me!!
I got married long ago, and my mother made me register. Still, I got the most bizarre gifts that were not on there (consider the source, I guess -- my mother's friends). Weirdest gift: not an egg cooker, but "cozies" decorated as a man and woman, made of quilted cotton, to put on top of soft-boiled eggs to keep them warm. What? Like we sat down to eat breakfast...ever? Or we would use "soft-boiled egg cozies" if we did?I tried to use them as finger puppets years later, when we had kids, but they scared the poor darlings, and me, too.
Horrible confession: I have the castle bundt pan, and I bought it myself. The shame!
As for putting thank you notes on the registry, that's really funny. It would be so tempting to buy those and see if that was the note you actually got back.
I did not register. Heavens, I wish I had!!! Ugly plates, neon-pink thank you notes, some random stuff like ceramic tea sets (I'm a rocker chick, not a proper English lady), and basically a whole lot of stuff I had little/no use for. My aunt- who also hosted the small wedding in her back yard- and an uncle whom I haven't seen in years, were the only ones who gave me stuff that was useful and that we wanted. When we have kids, online registry it is, because our family lives in many different states across the country, and I'm not too sure I want to find out what they have in store for my kids!
About 6 months a child hood friend gottten married. Her and her husband make great money. They sent "letter" to everyone who was invited stating that they had everything they needed already. I don't remember the exact wording but if you felt like it was proper to give a gift then do so to the following organazations. There was around 20 great charties listed like St. Judes, Make awish foundation. Relay for Life is just a few I remember.
I thought of this as their own personal gift registry... Think about it what a great idea...
We registered... and still got crazy off the wall gifts!!!!
Hoping you won't get the blue ceramic Crab basket!
Blue ceramic crab basket?? Wait, tell me more!
P.S. I just got a thank-you note that says, "Dear Josey, Thank you for the splatter screen..."
I'm 62, never been married. So I don't worry about weird gifts. I could use a
toaster oven, microwave and new coffeemaker, but I'll eventually buy those. Weirdest gift I ever gave to a girl I didn't like was a windmill gearbox-it came from a mill that was taken down. This mill had a 20 ft blade-
so it was about as big as a 1 cu. ft.
microwave; weighing in at 100 pounds. Don't know what they did with it-I didn't get it back!