i like to text/IM the ghetto symbol for a heart -- i like to text/IM the ghetto symbol for a heart --

he always IMs back, "I know, I know. You're less than three."

the fact that we both think this is adorable and always funny probably means we were made for each other. that, or we're both totally insane.

the symbol didn't show up!
darn it.

it's the left V-shaped bracket and then a 3.

see, makes more sense now, right? try it! i swear it looks like a heart!

Rest assured I'll be teaching my son to hold the door open for a lady, always say please and thank you, and never break a date through text message.

Can this be added to the Constitution or something. I know given out to boys in the sex ed class. I have dated severally guys that are serial texter. Needless to say they didn't last long.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm dealing with a guy right now who's a serial texter and it's getting on my nerves...so impersonal! I thought it was just me, but I have a friend who's experiencing the same thing. What's up with these guys?

Nothing, I mean NOTHING, has helped me get over a guy faster than when my boyfriend of three months decided to break up with me...by e-mail. Such a gentleman! And not at all a total and complete wussy, momma's boy. No, not at all.

you know, even when I do text, I can't bring myself to use those "shortcut" spellings... so it's horribly drawn-out!

When I get texts that are in that text-ese, I always think "OH NO - he's on DRUGS!"

Thank God for this list!!! I thought I was the only one frustrated by this phenomenon... I'm a pretty tech-forward girl, but come on... dating via text is not dating, it's a digital excuse to resort back to 7th grade flirtations.

Thanks for your column. I sometimes need reminding of how precious and valueable we women really are. It helps to have value for ourselves, otherwise how's anybody else going to treat us this way, and your article helped remind me of this.
Thank you.

I think that IM's are an excellent way of keeping in touch. my boyfriend and i have been seperated for a couple weeks because he went off to play hockey. Even though he has a few times.. phoning is just way too expensive because he's out of the province, and it would be rude to make all these long distance calls since he's living with a family he doesnt know. Its not constant, but i like looking at my cell and seeing that he left me quick message of how his day went or waking up in the morning and seeing a message he left late the night b4: "i can't sleep, thinking of you...;)"

.. i miss him

RJ: OK, your boyfriend has a valid reason for texting, so we'll give him a pass on this one. (Sounds like you really miss him...hope you get to see him soon!)

However, re: my texter--not only is he NOT out of the area, but his job is just 10 minutes from my office. So, rather than texting me to say that he'd like to take me out to lunch sometime, HE COULD ACTUALLY COME OVER AND TAKE ME OUT TO LUNCH. Face-to-face interaction...what a concept!

P.S. Ginny, I totally agree with you about resorting to 7th grade flirtations!

My boyfriend lives in South London and i live near Southend-on-Sea. We dont get to see each other often as we are both full time students and it is quite expensive to travel to see each other. So we talk everyday by IM. We both have webcams so at least i get to see his face. IM can sometimes be better than having him around because we can talk about important issues without him undressing me with his eyes.

Sophia-
that's too bad you guys don't get too see each other too often beside your webcam, but if its easier to talk about important things by im because he is always "undressing you with his Eyes", maybe the 'important thing' you should be talking to him about is the fact that by doing this he's not really paying attention or respecting what you are trying to say to him in person.

I use texting for phone sext only!

If a guy initiates a date by texting, don't be surprised when he wants to end your connection or relationship that way, too. Just say "NO" to texting as a main form of communicating when you're getting to know someone.

Am a guy and reading your comments or rather article made me feel embarassed for I have once or twice cancelled my dates via texts. I am thankful now that i know excatly how women need to be treated.

I have the best story of all! My ex-bf would have an entire argument w/ me on text messaging! If I tried to call, he wouldn't pick up the phone. I finally told him that was enough & if he had something to say he could call & SAY it to me!

i am now being held from being with the guy i love, just because he is 12 years older than me, and my parents dont approve, how do i make them see we are in love and they are breaking my heart from keeping us apart:(

me too! if somebody could answer this question that would be greatly appreciated. only, my guy is six yrs older, and since i can never see him, we talk everyday via email. sometimes i get to see him when i visit him at work and we talk on the phone every chance we get, but those chances dont come up that often.

I am in very in love with a virgin.
We were great for 1 week and a half.
Then he wrote me an email:"this relation is not what i want, though i felt good." I wrote back asking why.
I made many thoughts why, but i cant get him talk.We met again 3 times after that as friends.Then he went in holidays for 1 week,without saying anything to me. How can i get him back?
You girls would say, "move on", he's a pig writing to u an email for good bye, not talking to you for 1 week, going to hollidays without u!
I would need some help on troubleshooting this relation. 10x

I couldn't agree more on the whole technology issue. Me and my boyfried do use IM and txt a lot, but we see each other at least 3 times a week and call each other everyday. I think there has to be a balance between the two... there are things that you certainly should not say through an e-mail IM or txt. On an additional note... I think txting and IMing can sometimes ruin relationships for the lack of real communication, you can't tell if a person is happy, sad, mad, upset or really you can't tell if that person is showing any emmotion at all, so I definitely choose face to face forms of communication over technology

Commenting on Rule #1:

I totally agree - cancelling via text, e-mail or IM is quite impersonal. If anything, that option should be used to supplement a phone call. In addition, sending flowers and a card shows [genuine] concern. Finally, wrap things up with tickets to a movie, play or a concert (of her choice, of course). Bottom line, guys...it's the little things that go a long way...and [ultimately] last!! Remember that!!

Commenting on Rule #2:

I'm 'on the fence' on this one. Texting to go on the FIRST date...NEVER!! What was the point in the woman giving her phone number if the man is too lazy to call? It's no way to initiate a first date!! But, once the relationship has been established, why not? At that point, it should be acceptable. It's not like he still trying to make a first impression. BUUUUTTT...once again, remember the LITTLE THINGS, men:

INFANTILE: Meet me @ da spot @ 8! Gotta l'il sumthin, sumthin 4 ya!

MATURE: Our special place...8 pm...I'll be waiting...12 surprises in one hand, something extra special in the other!

See the difference?

Dating a guy for the last month and we only see each other 4x a month cuz of our hectic traveling sched. However, we only text and email each other to see when we are in town and to meet. We both mentioned that we dislike talking on the phone but sometimes I like to hear his voice on the other end besides a text. Its beginning to feel impersonal. Even when we text and I'd say I'll call him later to chat, he doesn't answer his phone. I feel that he really hates phone conversations or he has something up his sleaves.

He'll also text me funny things related to sex...joking wise. Which is amusing cuz I flirt back but again its a bit weird.

Any opinions on this is much appreciated.

Thanks!

I to think its rude to cancel a date by
im.or texting and I have 3 sons whom I will pass on please you just don't treat women this way.

To Cindy:

It seems to me that your [initial] comfort level with texting the guy has diminished because he's misusing the service - sending you messages that are causing you to doubt his loyalty to you. In short, get over the fear and get into gear! Talk to him about the situation - face to face - openly and honestly! Let him know that you're not comfortable with the [type of] messages he's been sending you lately (make sure to tell him why) and that you'd like to talk more [over the phone] instead. If he doesn't make the necessary changes, let him go.

Commenting on Rule #3:

I may be 'on the fence' with this one, too. The blogger was correct in instructing women to stop at thanking him [in person]. Why?

1. If you let the man take responsibility for initiating the second date, it takes all the pressure off of you. If he enjoyed himself, he'll ask you out again.

2a. If you go beyond the 'thank you' and send him a message, you could easily get upset with him for not responding in a timely manner - in which case you might end up venting your anger the next time you speak (or meet), which may result in a 'rude awakening' for you when you find out that he [actually] had other [legitimate] things to do (work, errands, etc) which prevented him from [promptly] responding in the first place!!

2b. If you NEVER get a response [at all], you just set yourself up for a let down.

3. You could be sending a signal of being overeager and needy.

However, if you understand - and accept - the [potential] consequences of your actions...WITHOUT getting upset...then fine...go ahead and drop a little note. A gentleman would respond with a 'thank you' note of his own, perhaps with an invitation for a second date. But, if you're not sure what kind of guy you're dating, stick with the blogger's caveat. Don't go beyond 'thank you' at the end of the date.

I totally agree that u shouldn't drink and text. I guess I had too much to drink one night and ended up texting a guy I was seeing a horribly long and horribly explicit text message. Like I said I WAS seeing him. Friends dont let friends text drunk!

I hate forums because they piss me off, usually due to their nature. However, my fiance and I text each other often and love each other more then that. I'll probably be flamed for this but i dont care. ive never met her in person though we talk via webcam every night except for this week (im packing and moving back home so i told her i couldnt be back online till the 13th... she distracts me way to much :)) however most of it should be excused due to the fact she lives in the phillipines and i here. in fact, after i am done with the computer today, im breaking it down so i can ship it. i miss her... comments from a guy.

How do i express my feelings to an ex-bf? I know he wants to give our relationship another try but he is way too passive. How do i go about getting him to open up? I love him.

I don't know how to feel about all this either...I've been seeing a guy for a few months and our schedules are almost exactly opposite. We've only done the texting thing for anything other than trying to make or work out plans when one of us is at work (I work days, he works nights) a couple times, but our main form of commuincation is IM's. We see each other when we can and I know he's interested and a super sweet guy, so I don't know what to make of phone calls that are very few and far between (although when we were having trouble working out plans the other day and I thought he was misunderstanding my texts at work as rude, he had no problem with my calling to clear things up and we ended up talking for an hour). I get the feeling that he's just not a phone guy (and I'm not a huge phone fan either) and that's the only thing that nags me about him...thoughts?

To Chris:

A fiance you've never met?! Someone who lives in the Philippines?!

Amelia:

I see a few of contradictions in your post.

1. Expressing your feelings to your ex? Why? Wasn't that something you did when the two of you were together? And if that didn't work then, do you think it will now?

2. Expressing your feelings to someone who passive? How can YOU be the one with that problem if HE's the one that needs to open up?

3. Loving your ex? If you broke it off, do you [really] love him? If he broke it off, should you [actually] love him?

Caitlyn:

Two questions...

1. Whose been initiating the most phone calls?

2. Are the majority of the phone calls occuring when the both of you have free time?

Hmm...phone calls, mostly him when we're making plans. I've initiated a few here and there (one when we weren't communicating well trying to arrange plans through texting, one to let him know I was home, and a couple just to say hello)...I'm not sure how to break the status quo now. I have trouble making phone calls when he has free time, which is usually at 11pm or later (I stay up often, but I never know when he's home until I get a text or IM or something from him and he usually initiates the contact, not me). I don't know if we're both just used to it or not phone people or a combination of both...we're also both kind of shy and hesitant to actually make any sort of moves (we've had a discussion about this and I know it's case and I know he's interested in me), so I wonder if that could have something to do with it as well...

I'm unsure as well. A friend I'm interested in SMSes me quite regularly (every night when he's not online) and as a person who doesn't usually use SMS much as a form of communication, I don't know whether to interpret the contact as merely friendly. The texts are generally casual: asking me about my day, filling me in on his, sharing a mutual joke, saying goodnight. I'm not certain how often he SMSes other people, though, and wouldn't recognise flirting if it hit me in the face. He's SMSed from different places, from work to home to parties. He also initiates SMSes more than I do, although invitations to hang out (casually) tend to be evenly divided. However, he doesn't call and I don't either. I generally dislike phone conversations and his phone plan has incredibly high charges so I personally prefer it this way. Our schedule clashes also mean that we don't see each other too often, and IM a fair bit instead. Is that necessarily a bad thing?

Yay! I'm glad someone else is in the same boat, haha. :)

my b/f and i text all the time during the week, but we use it along with voice mail and stuff like that, we both go to school full time, work full time and opposite shifts, so thats sometimes the only way to get a message to him, we live together but w/our schedules the only time we ever even see each other is late sunday nightish

My boyfriend and I had a bad breakup and he tried making up by IM-- one was "Do u still L_ _e me?". This message was sent to me 3 weeks after the break up. The reason for the break up was because he had stood me up twice that week and when I expressed my frustration over the phone he proceeded to insult me. So I called it quits and broke up w/ him at in that instance. Do u seriously give someone a chance if they try to reach out by IM?

to: NOV

seriously.. give it a break. from what i get from your post it sounds like he obviously does not want to give you the time of day or the consideration a normal relationship should have. what was he trying to say anyways.. love?. like?.. and 3 weeks later!.. this does not sound like the type of guy that screams EFFORT. i also do not think that the IM was a good idea. because the only way you could have responded to that was a quick yes or no. hes putting you on the spot for a quick forgiveness. if he respected you.. he would have talked to you and said sorry

refering to last post.. i reread what i had last posted and i realized how blunt i must sound. sorry if i seem so cold hearted.. my friends tell my im a very honest person.. too honest actualy haha.. i have a problem of saying the first thing that pops into my head!

I'm embarassed to say that I've been using email & texting to try to get my ex to communicate w/ me. A month ago, after 3 years, he finally told me how much he loved me and how afraid he was of a serious relationship. So, I thought we'd cont to make a go of it. 4 days later he was out w/ someone else. He won't speak to me and I feel so angry that I haven't had a chance to air out my anger. Its embarrassing and I'm glad I happened on this post.

Hi RJ-- no need to apologize, I appreciate your bluntness and you are right. This guy does not need my efforts. Thank you so much because you are seeing it from the outside and it's a good wake up call. Keep up your bluntness :)

I don't mind texting, but my boyfriend and I live together, and see eachother everyday. The texts and emails mainly consist of work being bad, or good, and a quick "I love you/I miss you" sort of thing. Although I did have an ex that refused to call, and would never pick up when I would...He merely text...all the time...it drove me insane. The only time we would talk was when we were together...and If I was mad at him for some reason, he would text me from across the room. Needless to say...one of the many many reasons he is my ex.

never date a guy with a Sidekick

Quit complaining..Many girls do the same thing but when a girl does it its clever when a guy does it its cruel...Such a double standard...

Besides why go threw a shouting match with a girl over why I'm cancelling the date when clearly I'm not interested....If i were she be getting the BRT ASAP (O_-)

there is a difference when you're texting and you're with friends (though it may still be considered rude) and being with your guy/girl and having a third wheel with ya.

in my country, texting is the most convenient and inexpensive form of communication especially for two people who are miles apart. but i agree with u, expressing one's feelings via text when u are still on the get to know stage is quite rude, not cute. but when u are an item already, it is acceptable.

I had plans for Valentine's Day with this real cute guy who I was quite fascinated by. Well, 3pm ON VALENTINES DAY he sent me a text message saying he had to cancel because he was told to stay at the hospital longer (he was doing his rotations). Lets just say, after that, I wasn't too fascinated!

This is so true... Not only is breaking up, or cancelling a date a manly thing, but it is SO rude and impersonal. Guys who do this is such a wuss. Many, many thanks for this post!

Sorry, not only is it NOT a manly thing... :-p

My husband and I have almost divorced over text mails that he received and couldn't explain. It would be ashamed if it were really meant to go to someone else instead of him.

I new to writeing,, on here,, but does these same rules,, hold true, for, useing,, IM,, on Yahoo messenger,, ?? Since we,, are far apart,, We talk alot,, on messenger,, and use the web cam,, and we do call some,, I would call more,, but it his drinking,, while visiting,, is what,, bother me,,, He gets abusive,, saying it all because we are apart,, Me.. Now this,, really bother me,??

Also what the rules for ,,so called dateing on Im,, are yahoo.. messenger? I am new to all this stuff,, Have not dated in years,, Thanks,, Love you advice,, thanks..

nov...true, your b/f could be not be worth it.for not calling you if he wanted to know how you felt about him...wonder; was he texting so it would save his ego, if you reacted badly.

genny,

he might feel lonely when he doesn't see you....but using that as an excuse for drinking, and being abusive???

good luck

You know what makes this problem really easy? My cell phone does not have text messaging capability! (Nor would I use it even if it did.) Nothing beats hearing my guy's voice, and he agrees that a real conversation is much better! It only takes a minute to pick up the phone and call.

it really depends on the guy and yourself...and how you believe whats being said. really girlz do you believe every text that pops through your cellphone

My boyfriend and I use IMs and text all the time. Usually when he is at work and can't have personal calls. OR if we are just having a flirty day. Amazing what can come out of your fingers when you are typing sexy to your guy. (giggles) But since we live together I don't see a problem with it. I do not however think they should be used to cancel or ask for a date. OR to break up with someone. That is so immature.

My guy of 3 months used to email me all of the time. I asked why he doesn't any more (I thought he forgot how to type!) and he said it's more fun to talk on the phone--it's more personal he says. He's a keeper!

Oh I have the icing on the cake... I had a guy DUMP me via text message. Real class act.

My new guy does text, typically 3-4 times per day just to see how my day is going. In his case, I think it is more that he doesn't want to be overheard by his co-workers than anything else, because I see him pretty frequently during the week.

Texting is my life now. I'm loving it! And to have someone cancel plans via texting I guess depends on how serious or casual your relationship is. I've had a guy I was seeing text me telling me he wasn't going to make it for some plans we had. Didn't bother me any, excpet I needed to find something else to do.

Dumped in a text message!

i dated a fireman over a year ago and while we were dating, i started seeing how cold he was. he went out of town one weekend, and when i finally heard from him again it was in a text message. after a few back and forth, he finally said "i do not have a burning desire to be with you". now i look back and laugh that he actually used those words and thank my lucky stars that he's out of my life.

Lets put it this way. If you live in the same city/town or within (for me) an hours drive call, don't text. To me texting is energy wasted. If the relationship is starting out I'd say never text until you can set a few guidelines like five or six dates (2 months down the road) when you can see where it's going. I prefer voicemail to text, that way I can at least tell if they're sincere in their apologies, mind you ladies, it has to work both ways. It boils down to treating people the way you'd like them to treat you.

I also had a guy break it off with me via text. I didn't think a text message warranted a response from me.

Met him in March 06/Long distance special friend.We have spoken on the phone twice only. Since then we have been texting and emailing each other for over 6 months now. I tried to call but he would not answer my call, would email next day or text, was kind annoying at first but after i while i got use to it and am loving it. Will be finally seeing each other soon!

My best friend and her boyfriend constantly fight via text, it drives me insane. The arguments can drag out for hours because they think nothing of saying anything that pops in their minds at the time. Easy to be mean when you don't have to look someone in the face.

My now ex boyfriend became a serial texter when he bought a cell phone. I have to saw, after that, our connection just dropped. Instead of calling he would just text and IM for everything. He didn't even turn the cell off while we had sex! This might be petty but I gave him a little of his own medicine and left my cell on once, and checked it during the deed! Needless to say, I left that guy shortly there after.

O.k. I just have to tell you. My boyfriend of 1.5 years proposed to me in a email!! It actually happened in three different emails, one right after the other. He wrote the nicest emails I have ever seen. I almost cried when I read them. The last email said that I didnt have to send my answer via email, that he is going to propose again "properly" he just wanted to make sure I would say yes. Which I did :)The really good part about getting proposed to in an email is when your friends say.."ohh what did he say?, how did he ask?" I can just hand them the email(s)!
I will never forget the exact words he used when he asked me to be his wife. Thanks for letting me share my story..Kari

Daniel ... NICE! How's this?

My place ... 9 pm ... Been thinking about you all day ... I can't wait ... Bubble bath, candles, & wine ... or ... fruit & whip cream, Paula Cole, & hot oil massage?

I completly agree with this. My current boyfriend broke up with me when we were together in the past over an offline IM. After I got out of class and got back to my room it was waiting on my computer and he didn't even want to talk about it. He said that it was all in the message and there was nothing left to talk about. And not only do emails, texts, and IM's ruin a relationship in the means of the guy chickening out of stuff...but it can also allow the guy to talk to other girls and be secretive with out you knowing about it!

My last-but-one girlfriend and I were kissing on her sofa, quite hot and heavy, and her mobile beeped to say she had a new message. She broke off the kiss, looked at the mobile, REPLIED to the message, then went back to kissing me. The reply to her reply came through a couple of minutes later, and again she broke it off to read it. I said "Please don't send a another reply, you're having a conversation now! You can turn your phone off for an hour, no one will die". Anyway, needless to say this relationship didn't last, but I guess I got the last laugh, in that the next woman I dated was that friend who has texted her while we were kissing. Karma or something, I guess?

well i think it's almost right but what if it's the only way that u can keep in touch with the one u love my boyfriend he lives in anther country and he works all the time so emailing or sending sms some times better than phone calls coz some times we feel we want to talk about so many thing and emailing each ather is the only way we can be free in talking also sms just to say one or two words better than waiting for along time to hear about the one u love so i don't mind about it at all and about canceling a date in the last minute it's not rude it's a killing way to my feelings if u want to cancel it u shouldn't have asked me in the first place that's my opinion coz i lived that before and i felt so horrible like i'm no one so he didn't care about me and he didn't care that i was waiting him and send sms saying "i'm sorry i can't make it let's do it in anther day ;)" how funny he is so in my opinion if he doesn't care why i care about him that's it and that's after all my opinion

To Wiz:

Great start. Now, take it to the next level. Stir her imagination...make her think!! Remember what I said...

'...12 surprises in one hand, something extra special in the other!...'

12 what...roses...pearls on a necklace?

Something extra special? Like what...a diamond ring...tickets for a romantic cruise...or to HER favorite place, perhaps?

The trick is saying it (that you have a gift) without [actually] saying [what] IT [is]. Get it?

RJ & NOV:

I totally agree with your response to NOV. Imagine...he stands her up [TWICE], insults HER [instead of apologizing], then tries to 'reach out' via IM? Lame...completely lame! Find someone worth your time, NOV!

My ex recently ended our 14 year relationship - by email.

Technology is not a substitute for good manners.

Say no more.

I recently experienced a drunken text conversation. My ex decided that he wanted to re-vamp the now 2-yr old thing of our getting back together and I continually tell him time and time again why I won't. And he texted me the other night while he was drunk and couldn't figure out why i was so lost through the whole thing considering he started the convo with me half way through it. Kind of funny for me but I think he got more hurt than he would have if he actually knew how to pick up his phone (which he has yet to learn and cant understand why I hardly talk to him)

My theory: It you can spend the 1-2 minutes preparing a text message you can spend 1-2 minutes actually talking to someone. And considering the amount of things that can be said in a 2 minute time span on the phone is roughly ten times the amount one can say viz text, what's the point?

to lilsxycece and Lytia, neither one of you mention how old you are...only how much older the guys are. It's not just about age difference....It's also about life differences and what you have in common or don't have in common with big age gaps.
About break ups by email...I had one guy try to send a dear jane email...I let him know that I thought it was out of line, cold & hurtful, and at the very least he owed me the courtesy of having that conversation on the phone or in person. He did call and we talked for about an hour and a half, maybe more....we cleared the air alot... resolved some issues...working on others. Talking is soooo much better than email...But when life gets busy emails and texts can offer that bit of comfort to know that you aren't ignoring or forgetting about each other, just too much going on all over.

Barb:

Did you two end up staying together?

i never realised how much can technology effect our lives... up untill now it was fine with friends and never had probs but with my fiance, i somehow end up in probs.

hez not much techno savy and prefers to interact in person while with me i m so used to txts and emails which makes it hard to talk things easily. when we were new txting did created a lot of misunderstanding amongst us but again here i believe it all depends on how the other person understands ur way of communicating!

nyways, but i do und that technology does effect relations in some or the other way and the rules laid out r gud enough to help not to ruin someone's new relation!

I'm sorry but some of those things written in the article are ridiculous. i agree that cancelling by txt is a bit harsh. but not drinking and txting?? if i was out with friends n i felt like i wish i cud climb into bed with my boyfriend id text him n tell him, no matter wether i had been drinking or not.
atm txt, email, and IM are the best way to talk to my boyfriend cos he has very bad signal at his university accomodation this year. we have recently started using skype for phonecalls now, but before it used to only be IM that we could converse between.

There are a few times when it's okay to text but a follow-up phone call should come later. I am a teacher and there have been a few times when I am in a late parent conference or faculty meeting and my honey had to text me to cancel or reschedule. I actually prefer it. It's quicker, easier since I hate talking on the telephone!

Texting can be a cute and spontaneous way to drop sweet little notes to one another, but I do agree at can cause anxiety if you begin to text things that should be done in person, like when one person is upset. It just sets a person up for disappointment if the other person will not text you back.

I enjoy writing, am witty sending text msga a great deal. Of course dey r no substitute 4 a telephone call in a relationship, but I find if u r both very busy or live in diiferenct cities its very conforting exactly wen a pbone conversation is not ideal. Like little msgs all day 2 say u r thinking about den, a msg in d morning to say Hv a great day or one late at nite to wish them pleasant dreams. As 4 cancelling dates via text... no no, although I hv been knowned 2 do hv donbe dat in the past. Ditto making a date.

Ack!!!I couldnt imagine a break-up by text...I used texting to talk to my hunny sometimes....just little stuff... like 'i love you'
and 'cant wait till i see you later' even a random silly message once...'you make me wanna lala'.(the guys at work loved that...lol he got it during lunch and laughed and the guys at work snatched his phone from him...)...*giggles* but our main contact was !!contact...we saw each other 3 or 4 times a week....and usually spent weekends together...but complete contact through im,amial and texting??? i just have to say 'no way'....texting,im and email are so impersonal

*email...

This article is awesome -- I've forwarded it to all my girlfriends so they can avoid losers who insist on communicating soley via texting.

you guys have such good points but i have to know what to do. The guy I like has just goven me his number but I dunno whether to call or sms him. I smsd him the other day just to start getting to know him cos we havent really met before. Ive liked him for ages and only just worked up the courage to ask him. help!

lol..this article is amazing!there's this guy that sends me messages in an absolutely un-readable portuguese(yeah..i'm portuguese)..trying to be romantic..after being with me, and "talking to me"(about the weather) for 15 min...

i think you have to take the communication type into consideration
if the date was requested by email, isn't it is perfectly fine to cancel by email?

Texting can be your friend! I was in a casual relationship with a man for about 6 months and was definitely feeling like I wanted to break it off. After a couple of weeks of no contact, I received a text from him that said, "Are you avoiding me?" I never responded and that was 4 months ago. If he cared too much about it he would have called. Needless to say, it was one of the easiest breakups ever, but not very polite, I know.

Me and my long- distance, long- suffering boyfriend of four years, once broke up over text. Painful all the same, probably worse than an upfront thingy, but with the distance thing, the cell or laptop quickly becomes your next best mate. Trust me, I never go places without my phone, just incase he calls and make sure I have a WiFi card with me all the time. The downside, is falling asleep in the middle of a steamy chat session........This is sort of like falling asleep after the act. Kind of like betrayal. LoL.

Wish I had read the "never text while drunk" before I actually did it and ruined a friendship

My b/f and I are both in college, unfoprtunately in different states :_( Both of our phone plans have so few minutes that we frequently go over, and text messaging is the quickest, cheapest way to communicate for most of the day (unless I'm on AIM in class-- ah, the joys of a laptop computer). When we're both in our respective dorm rooms, we use a free internet phone service (Skype, if anyone else out the also uses it). The text messages are mostly for flirting (even committed couples need a lot of that), but it keeps both of us sane to hear the other's voice _AND_ not have to argue with parents about the phone bill.
Another problem with text messages-- some service providers are so very incredibly SLOW with text messages that they're received several hours or even a couple days after they're sent. By that time, the date would think they'd been stood up, even if 'notification' was 'given' in 'advance.'

wow! So many responses to this article! So, it caught my attention not so much because my dh so much abuses any of these communication mediums, but because there is a girl that wants him that does! This psycho texts at 12:30 am, and often later, not to mention late night phone calls. He refuses to deal with ehr on all of this, and wants nothing to do with her. In any case, new rule: unless you know for sure that the person you're texting is up or unlikely to be woken by your text, as well as anyone else that would be in the same place as his/her phone, DON'T TEXT LATE AT NIGHT!
(Why would a teenage- or pre-teen girl, who is obviously still under her parents thumb, want anything to do with a man twelve years older than herself? I can understand 6 years, sort of, if the girl is 16 or 17 AT LEAST, but, 12 years? My husband is 7 years older than me and even that can be a challenge on some levels!)

Am a medic, and I have used text to cancel a date with my boyfriend, sometimes we get late calls and I can't call him because he wouldn't be able to hear me over the rig radio nor could I hear him, therefor I have canceled through text. Most time it just says cancel plans and he knows am still at work or I gotten a late call. We been dating for a year and he knows what my job entails very well with him being a medic also.

I agree texting is inpersonal in a lot of situations. It is a means of communication that doesn`t require a lot of effort or actually talking to someone. They are not able to read your mimics from your voice. So, it is a great solution if you do not feel like talking. Only your manners come in question... It could be different when in a relationship but not allways... We are all awear if somebody is just trying to get ride of us or actually misses yuo...

I been with a falla a couple of time's and now am textin i love em so much but i cant tell em the way i feel by sayin it face to face do u tink it's a bad idea to text i wud feel more comfortable

my long distance somewhat ex/bf and i have been dating for about 16 months. When we started out we used to text alot, it took the pressure off you know, but i think we started abusing it alot. We broke up over text and IM several times and he recently sent me an email saying he wanted to see other people. Imagine that 16 freaking months and all i get is an email. I sent him a text and said fine we are broken up and didnt talk to him for a week. But now we are talking again and yes over IM and text and he says he aint seeing anyone. Problem is we are so used to texting and IM i dnt think we can actually carry out a phone conversation. In person we are great, apart its like monsters unleashed. Right now i want him back, he is a great guy, but the texting, the constant drama is driving me crazy....someone please tell me in the most blunt way that i need to check the sucker

this is great!...i think most of us girls know all of this but when u read it from someone else

i'm in love with someone live in usa and we almost engaged now and we planing 2 get married in next year .. so we don't have others way to contact accept text ,, mails and phone calls

sorry i forget to tell u that i live in egypt :(

Yeah, it's pretty sad using texts or emails to break up with someone but hey they are cowards and it's still better that then "I'm going to ignore you until you realize we are no longer together".

I don't mind texts at all, in fact most times i prefer it. I'm very shy about feelings, and if i really really like a guy it's be pretty difficult for me to say it, seeing him, though delightful, makes me uncomfortable because it reminds me how much i like (or love) him. And i hate feeling all mushy mushy all the time. Texts are not-so-emotional way for me to reach out and tell him, i'm thinking of u . . . a lot without feeling embarrassed. But, it hurts me when he does not reply in kind. Like my current bloke, i had 2 remind me to reply my texts because i feel ignored when he doesn't. He is more of a face-to-face person, but i get self-consious when he's affectionate. But, of course, sometimes it's just rude certain messages some folks think to send through texts.

Occassionally I prefer text messaging - for instance when I can't speak because of all the eyes and ears around me. I remember in one of my previous jobs my coworkers were so jealous that I had a stable relationship, that they would follow me outside the room when I was trying to get out and speak in private. So the phone was not a great idea, while SMS was. :)

well i used to text alot b4, now i prefer e-mails or IM,im kinda shy so by writing how i feel i can easly express myself. okay i got a question. theres one guy i like and i think he likes me too. i have his cell phone (he didnt give it to me but i have found it out teehe). anyways i was thinking of sending him some cute message or something to see if hed reply,,but i wouldnt tell from whom it was @ first,see hes very popular and im not so im kinda embarassed for that. but i like him a lot. so what do u guys think? and did i tell u hes so cute ^___^ and my dads friends with his dad,, so i kno hes from a good family and a good guy. and he lives nearby. but im also scared if i write him smth that he doesnt reply, id be sad then.

I am a firm believer that phones should have buttons that detect how many martinis you've had to prevent drunk texting.

Nice!!! I like the idea provided here....

superb

Hi,
Could any one help me...my girlfriend have one trouble..she likes to have sex with me... but she is telling.. i dont have sex feelings..what can i do to make mood myself... is there any other way other than viagra?

My girlfriend left her email open at my house and after looking around I found out that she had two other guys on a string after telling me I was the only one.

Grounds for breakup or unlawful trespassing ?

Well i just have to give my response, as I was in a common-law relationship,quit work as he said i needed a break(single mom12yrs) he ould cover the bills,one daughter leaving for France student exchange,one having baby,he cut off all intmacy and communication,saw several girls responding to i guess on-line dating,left me the morning after my grnadson born,by texting me,saying he ouldn't come back leave clothes outside for meand said do't make this harder then it is...never saw him again.left for hometown i month later and me with no job..mice jerk hah

I was actually fired by text message. I was working as a Catering Director, one morning I was sick, went home from work sick. I recived a text telling me I was fired and I needed to clean out my desk by 6 am, the next monring!

i find it difficult to express myself thus i prefer sending txt msgs. what can i do to improve my ability 2 express myself. an advice will be appreciated.

I have a friend who is in a bad marriage that she wants out of. She met a guy online who lives in another state, never saw in person and they text and talk on the phone all the time. How can that be a good relationship meet in person, you don't know what the person is like till you've been with them for a while. I'm sorry phone calls and texting is not a way to start a relationship.

I had a guy that broke up with me through a text message. It read "I don't feel the same about you anymore. I want to see other people." So I laughed and, of course, ignored it. Then next day I went to his house and broke it off with him and told him that apparently I had enough balls to break it off with him in person and not through a f*&@ing text message. You can not be any lower than this guy to break up with someone through a text message.

Give me a break. You must be the same person who wrote that horrible book "He's Just Not That Into You." I am me, and I don't need all that "romance" crap. Who are you to say I should?

You did not mention the biggest text messaging crime of all: when somebody you are with pulls out their phone and starts reading and/or sending text messages to somebody else. What a prize!

About drinking and texting...I'm not guilty of that, exactly, but drinking and leaving voicemails is pretty terrible, too! My dad and I got pretty drunk last Xmas eve, and I was telling him all about my new boyfriend. I then decided, in my enebriated state, that it was a good idea to give my dad his phone number!!!! It was around midnight and he answered, to which my dad decided to prank him by pretending to be a puppy-chow salesman. When my BF hung up on him, my dad called back a total of four times leaving ridiculous messages, including two of the most bizare readings from my dad's dream journal.

I spoke with my BF soon after and he told me about some psychopath who left him a ton of weird messages on his phone on Xmas eve.

Honey? I'd like you to meet my father...

Texting, emailing and IM are not substitutes for phone calls and meeting in person. If you’ve been in touch with someone for more than a week without having heard his voice or seen his face, move on.
Why should girl do that?? i dont understand that please be clear

when i first met my guy (over internet)-NO, just for rooming (shared rent apt etc.) we hit it off well over email and im and after every message he would leave a ~,~'@ (rose) and as korny i guess as it may seem, i found it romantic, that he came up with his own idea of a "text rose" and even now after 4mnths he sends me little roses and :o) in my text or emails

When a guy says something to you over text that should be said in person, there should only be one response: "Hmmm..."

u should c hw jpnese do txt msg.. i thought tws pretty cool.

Pretty much yes.I think texting is convenient so i like it.But My boyfriend was so pissed off and thought i could only talk via messages.gradualy he ignor any of my messages and calls.Then I drove myself crazy for no response.I'm sure he's thinking about breaking up with me.and i stopped texting or calling or emailing him.So depressed....

This is such BS this is why women have such a hard time in their relationships.

You put too much thought into stuff like this.

It's just like people who think all caps mean you are shouting online... HOW SILLY!

I had a friend that stop talking to me since I would email her vs calling.

Email was my comfy zone.

It had nothing to do about her worth. I liked her. We had fun we we just hung out.

SHe wanted me to call... I was not comfortable with calling.

I did not want to fall into the trap of liking her and she not liking me.

I REFUSE TO STROKE ANYONES EGO!

I hope that was LOUD enough!?

Silly why for women to think.

Just roll with it. In my book Text Email
and IMs are the same as talking on the phone. It's less intrusive.

If