What Do You Call Your Mother-in-Law?
The other day I asked you what you call your boyfriend/fiancé/husband. That somehow led to a conversation around the iVillage editorial department about how we address our mothers-in-law (and even, in one case, a boyfriend's mom). I call my mother-in-law by her first name because that's what F's sister-in-law calls her. Plus, I'm one of those overly polite types -- so it was hard enough for me to start calling her by her first name instead of "Mrs. [F's last name]," let alone "Mom." (And, frankly, I've been married for all of about four minutes now, so it's strange to even have a mother-in-law. Strange in a good way, of course. Hi, "M!")
My parents always called their in-laws "Mom" and "Dad." But I don't know anyone from my generation who does that... with the exception of my coworker Lindsey who, as revealed the other day, calls her boyfriend's mom "Mom." (They're incredibly close.) So how about you?
I always felt that titles like mom, dad, aunt, uncle, grandma & grandpa were titles of respect--and I only have one Mom (sorry, mil). I will say, however, that I've also never been one to call family friends aunt or uncle either--several of our friends encourage our children to call them uncle--but it feels weird to me.
I address my boyfriends mother by neither, I just start talking to her. I'm not sure what I should call her. My mother died 35 years ago, so I wouldn't have a problem calling her Mom, but I don't think she likes me too well, haha.
I call the the B- from hell
From the very beginning, it was made clear to me that I would not have the opportunity to call my hubby's parents "mom & dad". They said that I have my own parents and should call them by they first name.
I think the other reason is that I would never consider anything other than their first names is because we've never had a great relationship. It took the first 5 years of our dating for his mom to really even stand me. It's a long story, but I don't think we will ever be close enough for "mom and dad".
I call my MIL by her first name. My mom died when I was 12. I could never call anyone else "Mom."
Like you, it was hard enough to not use "Mr. & Mrs." for them & use their first names, lol, but after almost 8 years of marriage now, I do sometimes say "Mom" & "Dad" - maybe 5-10% of the time. I don't feel that doing so takes anything away from my own parents, though, because I call my parents "Mama" & "Daddy" - it just feels weird to say "Mom" & "Dad".
How about mrs.i-ran-out-on-my-5-kids-and-my-husband-was-too-depressed-to-work-so-my-son-had-to-quit-college-and-that's-why-adri-lives-in-a-shack? Cause that's what I'd call that b***** if I talked to her. But I don't.
When I first got married 10 years ago my mil told me she knew it would be hard at first to call them mom and dad. I just couldn't. They aren't my parents and they never will be. I just call them by their first names and now Grandma or Papa.
I've slipped twice and called the boyfriend's mom, 'Mom'.
She surprisingly commented to the boyfriends sister that she liked it.
Not too sure how the boyfriend liked it; unlike me, he never wants to get married.
I call my MIL by her first name, but have heard of people calling their in-laws Millie (MIL) and Phil (FIL). Not sure that's any easier than using their actual first names, but is somewhat endearing.
While we were dating I called her "Mrs. K..." After we got engaged, when I came over one day I said "Hi Mrs. K...". She laughed and told me to call her by her first name which was weird to me so I didn't call her anything after that.
After we got married she wanted me to call her Mom which was also to weird for me. So for the first two years we were married I didn't call her anything LOL. After the kids were born I started to call her Grandma. The same exact thing applies to my husband regarding my parents.
I use first names too...but mostly grandma or papa.
I already had a son, so my fiance's parents get the instant grandma and papa...they love it!
ooh, flowergirl, I do that now that I have kids, too, lol. It's such an easy thing to do, all under the guise of reinforcing what the kids should call them! LOL
I call my MIL Mud. I am from the south and when you say Mother In Law it sounds like mud in law so I shortened it to Mud. She likes it and if I called her anything else she would think I am mad at her. I did try the Mom thing for a while but it did not feel right. My father in law passed away about 10 years ago and I forgot what I called him.
DARTH VADOR...SHE WEARS THE TITLE WELL!