Cool At Last
Remember on Sex and the City when Samantha used a fake ID to get into the famed NYC Soho House swimming pool? (And she actually was cool?) Well, the other night, I attended an event at the famed NYC Soho House. That's right, they let me in. Me!
Kidding.
But I really was there.
The event featured publicists-cum-authors-cum-speakers Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio, who wrote the Girl's Guide series, most recently The Girl's Guide to Kicking Your Career Into Gear: Valuable Lessons, True Stories, And Tips For Using What You've Got (A Brain!) To Make Your Worklife Work For You. They were talking about the mistakes women make in the workplace, such as thinking your ideas and insight aren't "good enough." They also talked about what a mistake it is to call yourself "emotional" instead of saying you're "frustrated" or "angry" or even "sad"—all of which are perceived as much more reasonable than "emotional"—to give your emotional behavior some specificity and context. (Find more great workplace advice right here.)
Then Caitlin and Kim actually referenced the 2006 California Governor and First Lady's Conference on Women, and I was there too! (To see what I wrote about it, click here.) They talked about how shocked they were to learn that Elle Macpherson was just as nervous about public speaking as they were.
Elle Macpherson.
Successful supermodel and entrepreneur extraordinaire.
Nervous.
Interestingly I had the same experience with her. I interviewed her (watch the video clip here) and asked her for advice for new mothers. Her response? That she doesn't feel comfortable giving advice! Any! At all!
Elle Macpherson.
Successful supermodel and entrepreneur extraordinaire.
Doesn't think her advice is "good enough."
I don't know about you, but I ask for advice all the time. I seek it out from my mother-in-law, my girlfriends, my coworkers, you name it. I wouldn't be the person I am without the advice I've been given.
What if I'd asked them for that guidance and they'd decided what they had to say wasn't "good enough"—and not given it to me?
I really would've missed out.
Kidding.
But I really was there.
The event featured publicists-cum-authors-cum-speakers Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio, who wrote the Girl's Guide series, most recently The Girl's Guide to Kicking Your Career Into Gear: Valuable Lessons, True Stories, And Tips For Using What You've Got (A Brain!) To Make Your Worklife Work For You. They were talking about the mistakes women make in the workplace, such as thinking your ideas and insight aren't "good enough." They also talked about what a mistake it is to call yourself "emotional" instead of saying you're "frustrated" or "angry" or even "sad"—all of which are perceived as much more reasonable than "emotional"—to give your emotional behavior some specificity and context. (Find more great workplace advice right here.)
Then Caitlin and Kim actually referenced the 2006 California Governor and First Lady's Conference on Women, and I was there too! (To see what I wrote about it, click here.) They talked about how shocked they were to learn that Elle Macpherson was just as nervous about public speaking as they were.
Elle Macpherson.
Successful supermodel and entrepreneur extraordinaire.
Nervous.
Interestingly I had the same experience with her. I interviewed her (watch the video clip here) and asked her for advice for new mothers. Her response? That she doesn't feel comfortable giving advice! Any! At all!
Elle Macpherson.
Successful supermodel and entrepreneur extraordinaire.
Doesn't think her advice is "good enough."
I don't know about you, but I ask for advice all the time. I seek it out from my mother-in-law, my girlfriends, my coworkers, you name it. I wouldn't be the person I am without the advice I've been given.
What if I'd asked them for that guidance and they'd decided what they had to say wasn't "good enough"—and not given it to me?
I really would've missed out.
me too, me too! I'm always asking for advice, I love hearing others perspectives on things but now you have me wondering if I'm less willing to give it? Hmmm, interesting food for thought.
I'm grateful for those who are willing to share the wisdom and insight they've gained through the years even if, *especially* if, they suspect deep down that it's not good enough.
It's a shame that we women so often feel we're inadequate in some way, whether it's giving advice, being a wife, going to work, raising our kids, or what have you. Maybe we all need a daily dose of Stuart Smalley: I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!