Sorry, it's just that something about this story reminds me of that famous scene from A Christmas Story:

[Hong Kong] Police reported that they received a call in the middle of the night from a man who was calling from LanTian Park. Xing, 41, decided to have sex with a steel, park bench but panicked after he could not remove his penis from one of the bench’s holes.

Re-defining the term "benchwarmer."  Love it.  According to the article, police were forced to bring Xing to the hospital... still attached to the bench. It reportedly took doctors four hours to free him.

And nobody got hurt! It was touch and go, though.