Well, if my husband were texting another woman and being all flirty I'd definitely consider it cheating.

It's not cheating if it's not against the rules. I wouldn't be foolish enough to expect my lovers to never fall in love again, and they don't make the same demand of me.

If my best friend is getting all gushy over an exciting new lover, I'd be happy for my friend! This courtesy extends to my sexual and romantic partners as well.

Hi, Rit! Just trying to follow... Are you in an open marriage then (or saying you intend to have an open marriage when you get married)? Thanks for your comment!

I agree with Ang - if my husband sent sexy text messages to some woman other than me, I'd definitely consider it cheating and he'd be in a world of hurt.

I'm in a non-monogamous sexual relationship with a live-in partner. While we're one another's only lover at this time, it hasn't always been the case and may likely add more partners in the future. We plan to stay unmarried as long as possible because we both have a strong belief in the fluidity of relationships. If we ever marry, it'll be because of irresistible insurance benefits or the like, and it'll have nothing to do with sexual or emotional fidelity.

I really try to avoid drawing boundaries between relationships that are sexual/romantic and the ones that aren't. It's my goal to love as deeply and as often as possible, within the boundaries of safety and feasibility; the more time we spend talking about the terms and boundaries of our relationship, the less time we're spending going on dates.

I take a little contention not with the definition of cheating above as "betrayal," but with its addendum that any emotional energy I spend on someone else is "therefore" not spent on my partner. I'm still in love with my partner when I'm at work, hanging out with other friends, or visiting my parents; the only thing that's changed is that she's not at the forefront of my mind. So why would this change if I'm on a date with the cute librarian or my coffee-house crush?

Agreeing with Ang and Steph. Sending sexy texts to (or receiving them from) someone else would definitely violate the TOS of my marriage.

Definitely cheating!!!

I believe that one person is capable with falling in love with more than one person and I also feel that it is impossible for someone to only have feelings for their partner forever. It is actually something I am dealing with right now. My husband doesn't get into the texting thing and especially if it has to do with anything sexual. I think it's fun and carefree. Plus, I get to be more daring than I normally would be which makes me feel sexy. I'm not physically doing anything with anyone and I don't feel guilty about it. It usually helps because when I get home, throughout the evening, I'm wound up from the text converstion and my husband is the one who gets to reap the benefits.

The part that I am torn about is that I am very open minded when it comes to anything sexual. He is very traditional and in all honesty, not that into sex. I think he would feel I was cheating on him or that I wanted to cheat on him if he read some of the messages I send and receive from other people. This is the part that makes me feel guilty because I know he has a different viewpoint about this than I do.

I have brought up swinging and having an open relationship, but almost get the look of death or divorce just for talking about it. I've brought up more subtle things too like being more adventurous in our own sex life, but I don't ever seem to get anywhere. How do I get him to listen to my wants, desires, and concerns without him shooting them down before I even get started?

After all that said, I don't believe texting sexual things to other people is cheating as long as you don't have intentions of ever hooking up and following through with it. I think that texting can be a fun way to vent and experiment with your fantasies without feeling pressured and you can really open yourself up.