If the notorious seven-year itch exists, wouldn't it be more efficient to end marriages before they end themselves? That's what one Bavarian politician is suggesting. Gabriele Pauli says that, at the seven-year mark, couples should either agree to extend their marriage or the marriage should automatically dissolve.

While I definitely don't condone the idea of couples breaking up every seven years--think of the children!--I do like the idea of couples renewing their vows every seven years (i.e. consciously agreeing to extend their marriage, as she puts it). Standing up in front of a witness or several, looking each other in the eye and reiterating your commitment to one another can resurface the way you felt about one another when you recited your vows the first time... and sometimes couples just need to remember what brought them together in the first place.

What do you think about this woman's idea? Have you renewed your vows?

Let me just preface this entry by saying I do not believe this is real. It reminds me of that over-the-top crazy bride YouTube clip that sparked "bridezilla" segments on media outlets nationwide... until the actresses involved came out and said, "Just kidding! It was fake! We really just want to be famous!"

My coworkers, however, disagree with me. So you be the judge.

These are actual posts from the personals area on Craigslist. Let's pretend that it isn't fictional, just for fun. What do you think? Is she right for knowing exactly what she wants -- and being completely frank about it? What about his theory? Is it on-target? Or just plain offensive? Take a look:

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What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

* Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

* What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

* Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

* Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

* Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

* How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

It's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
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UPDATE: She responded to him!

A doozy, isn't it? Okay, vent away!

Every week I anchor a new Sex on My Desk video. Check them all out right here, including our favorites:

Would You Cheat with Angelina Jolie?

Scarlett and Cameron's Cat Fight

George Clooney's $350,000 Kiss

Paris and Nicole Star in a Porn Movie

Let me begin by saying that, frankly, Siobhan and I didn't exactly think we were going to last night's gala to work. She carried her sparkliest purse. I wore my sparkliest top. It was decided -- by us, of course -- that we'd be the cutest girls at the party. We were going to schmooze. (And since Iman was being honored, I thought maybe, just maybe, we'd see David Bowie -- and maybe, just maybe, sing "Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes" with him. ...Hey, a girl can dream, right?)

But the minute we walked in the door, we learned otherwise.

Now, first, you have to understand that I am the geekiest of all geeks when it comes to my job. I would never, ever interview someone without knowing the entire life story: career path, biggest petpeeves, dog's name... everything. I would never be caught off-guard.

...Or so I thought.

We dropped off our bags at the Waldorf-Astoria coat room and checked in with the event's media relations coordinator. Her first words were, "Josey! Welcome! We love iVillage! Let me find Jane Fonda and Gloria Steinem for your interviews."

In my defense, I was pretty clear over email that I wasn't going to do interviews -- I told her I was only coming to the event to get a vibe ("vibe" is journalist speak for "drink"). But she was already gone.

I felt the color drain from my face, and Siobhan and I looked at each other blankly. What on earth were we going to say to Jane Fonda and Gloria Steinem with zero preparation? These are two of the most powerful (and most intimidating) female figures in recent history... icons... and we didn't even have a tape recorder!

We didn't even have a PEN.

I was ready to sneak out the back door until Siobhan turned to me and said, "All right, Josey, this is it. Are we mice or are we men??" I took a deep breath and simultaneously, I said, "MEN!" and she said, "MICE! ....Fine. Men."

So we stayed.

(To be continued...)

Update: Read Part Two here.
Update: Read Part Three here.

Ever since technology -- text messaging in particular -- invaded our relationships, there's been a lot of gray area as to what the rules are. So I decided to set the record straight once and for all. After all, sometimes love and electronics just don't mix...

1. My friend recently had plans with a guy, and he canceled on her at the last-minute… over text messaging no less. Her response was perfect! With her sense of humor and dignity in tact, she simply wrote, “Texting is for flirting, not for canceling.” Bottom line: If you need to cancel a date, well, don’t! It’s rude. (Everybody knows that.) But if you have no choice, make your mom proud by doing the right thing and picking up the phone to offer a reasonable explanation and to beg for forgiveness. Texting, emailing and IM make it very easy for us to forget that there’s a real person with real feelings on the other end of the line.
2. Texting, emailing and IM are quicker than calling, which makes them very convenient. But too much convenience can be very unromantic! If someone asks you out in a text, I beg of you… please write back telling him to call you and ask you again. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t deserve you. Never accept a date over text messaging! And if it's after midnight? Don't get me started.
3. If you want to thank a guy for a date, well, that’s very well-mannered of you. Tell him you appreciated it in person at the end of the date -- and that’s it. You do not need to email him, IM him or text him the next day to tell him again. But it’s “just a text message,” you say? I don’t care. You know what that’s called? It’s called torturing yourself. Because if he doesn’t respond, you’ll assume he didn’t feel the same sparks you felt, and you’ll drive yourself crazy checking your phone for a flashing light or repeatedly pressing “send/receive” on your email.
4. Are you in love with the guy you’re dating? That’s so exciting! I’m thrilled for you! But don’t you dare even consider using email or text messaging to tell him so if you’ve never said it to his face. “I love you” (or even “i luv u”… gag) is a very cute text when you’ve said it to each other -- out loud -- a few times before. But no sooner. Never send a text, IM or email that you wouldn’t say in person, or at least over the phone. The feeling of anonymity these forums provide can make us feel very brave. But that courage can make us say things we’ll later regret.
5. Don’t drink and text! Nothing you want to say could possibly be so urgent that it can’t wait until tomorrow… when you’re sober and have thought things through. If necessary, put a friend in charge of your phone -- the way you would responsibly hand over your keys -- when you’re hitting the town.
6. Texting, emailing and IM are not substitutes for phone calls and meeting in person. If you’ve been in touch with someone for more than a week without having heard his voice or seen his face, move on.

All right, ladies, what did I miss? I can't imagine the stories you have to share, and I want to hear 'em.

Oh, and by the way, mothers out there: I know you want your young sons to grow up treating women respectfully. So when you gather your kids around the table for dinner tonight, be sure to tell them to do their homework, to say no to drugs and to never use text messaging for canceling a date.

A little background… I have a stack of relationship books on my desk about yea high. (Can you see me motioning above my head? It’s like describing a spiral staircase.)

Publishers love to send me books, and I love that they send them to me. Sometimes I love the books because there's a section that will make for a compelling excerpt. Sometimes I love them because they spark a unique story idea. Sometimes I love them because why on earth would someone write about this?

Some more background:
I am recently engaged and the complete anti-bride.

So the fact that someone wrote an entire book -- 260 pages! -- on registering for your wedding is utterly beyond me. And this is not just any wedding registry book; it’s THE ULTIMATE Wedding Registry Book (Workbook to be exact).

My iVillage co-workers and I have spent way too much time laughing on instant messenger (also known as L O L-ing, or more grammatically correct: L-ing O L) about the many reasons registries are ridiculous. As Homepage Producer Amy eloquently put it, “Thank you so much for buying me exactly what I picked out and I know it’s $59.99 because I just checked my registry and it’s on sale.”

But there is -- without question -- an upside.

You see, I am a hypocrite because I, the anti-registry anti-bride… registered!

Why? Well… It turns out that when you don’t register -- and this is going to sound entirely ungrateful, but I’m saying it anyway -- you often get really strange gifts.

I received one -- which is by the way returnable within 30 days only, for store credit only, at a store halfway across the country -- that I honestly couldn’t even identify. When I showed my friend Karol, she tilted her head in bewilderment and asked, “Maybe you put M&Ms in it?”

It’s the thought that counts, though.

Personally, when I’m buying off other couples’ registries, I like to choose the item that will generate the most frame-able thank you note. Ex: “Dear Josey, Thank you for the egg cooker.”

What is an egg cooker? Why do people register for such things? Do people really need a special device specifically for cooking eggs? Does it work that much better than, I don’t know, a frying pan?

So maybe this book is helpful after all. It has a glossary in the back and everything. Maybe the glossary explains the rationale behind egg cookers.

Maybe people should register for THE ULTIMATE Wedding Registry Workbook after all.